The portfolio
We move forward (because we have to) - and envisioning better futures is worth every single morning.
Honestly, I’d almost forgotten about my Substack. I didn’t want to post. I felt like I’d be writing for nothing, I didn’t know if I wanted to continue this practice because I don’t know what I have to add to the stream of knowledge here. (Why me? There are others. This is a recurring pattern for me and I may end up just vanishing from here unless I truly commit to building this space - lets see what my Saturn Return brings!) I’ve also been going through a lot of grief in my personal life + the current WORLD situation that gets worse and worse #melt.
Anyways. We move forward (because we have to) - and envisioning better futures is worth every single morning.
PICK YOUR PORTAL
Tales outside of time
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Connecting to our nature
Illustrations by Bethan Ester
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// an old bio I wrote
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Our nature //
(An) intrinsic knowing
Spirit, land, self, crave your ear (body)
(For) together, we ARE
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Craftsmanship
Designs on promoting meeting Her
Stories steeped in strength and love for Country
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She speaks in collaboration
The primacy, it’s a constant
Churning
It’s a dynamic centre
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It’s a deeper look at the world
Reflecting back onto us
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It’s the Spirit
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The Fire and the flair
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It’s shades of speaking,
Hearing
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It’s the aquatic resonances
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It is beauty and necessity
Our bodies are a protest when we tune into the land
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It is standing on ceremony
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And
Imagining reality.
This folio took months to create. Exploring ideas. Styles. It was a beautiful process and sometimes challenging (the echidna was my nightmare!! I felt like God was trying to teach me a lesson as i refused to do tutorials. I’d ask myself “HOW” over and over again knowing full well I should’ve restarted… but I don’t do drafts). The folio started in my beautiful lounge room in Naarm (a house I miss - it was bright, spacious, cozy - and it was mine) where I had my favourite ideas come first (which I painted last).
The process continued to Port Fairy - buying magazines from the thrift store. Researching “what the f is a folio!!??” . Lots of Youtube video watching of people showing their folios. Somehow I knew that collage was apart of the folio (in hindsight, I was not planning a full picture story book… but it is me and I live for stories). Pretty sure there was an intense full moon going on when I was in Port Fairy too. I was in serious SCREAMING WHAT AM I DOING MODE. I was going to do American Traditional drawings and Japanese dragons!! and then follow all the tattoo rules… which is not me. I can’t copy. I wish I could! I literally just cant (I could… if i really tried and cared for it, but dont you find copying boring?)
The folio went into full speed when I arrived in Berlin and was living in a 4 storey high home. My room was bigger than my lounge room back in Naarm. I lived ages away from “the ring” (the inner suburbs of Berlin) so my room was everything to me. My landlady was cool. She was a late 50s German Gay woman and 110% iconic. She had renovated this whole house after most of the area being bombed by (I think) the Russians. She had a brompton bike (bike nerds celebrate)! A veggie garden. Seedlings! An above ground pool/spa! The kitchen had wooden bricks as tiles!! Honestly - my landlady was a baddie. She fixed everything and was a DIY’r. She plays the double bass, she’s friends with her neighbours. I once had her friend who dropped by help me do some bike stuff (he didnt give me a rose but he had the energy of an elderly Italian man that just appreciates all women) - shes adored by her community. She also was a doctor and… she was VERY German so had this seriousness about her that made my Australian heart feel a little scared (was she looking into my soul?!). Anyways we still message. Maybe one day I’ll see her quartet play.
After more inner work, I decided I had to abandon lots of planning for the folio. I had to just intuit it (such is my way). I was not going to attempt “fine line” styles. I tried, I hated it (a pattern). I only didnt like it because i found it BORING. And then I found the themes I was looking for - I would paint what I wanted to. I wouldnt restrict myself to pencil, or pen (like i was told through research to do). I would ignore reddit threads on tattoo apprenticeships.
I had to. Which is annoying.
Because linear paths seem far more breathable than the Piscean life I live.
The folio was going to be used to find an apprenticeship at a studio but I had changed my mind. Obviously. So I just let it sit. Except, I’m feeling ready to tattoo soon and the concepts from the portfolio are my values, they are my guiding light and are what I want to explore.
Once I dropped the rules. Painted with watercolour. I fell in love with the folio process and ended up with a story book that reminds me of why I’m doing what I’m doing.
These images are calls to action. Our world, our humanity, relies on a Spiritual revolution (Jesus, Allah, Mother Earth, Shiva, Shakti, whoever you want - its about our divine connection to all that is and being kind to each other), a recognition of our eco systems, kin. We need this recognition because we’ve forgotten who we are. We dont love each other, or our world anymore. These designs are based in building and strengthening our relationship with Land & Spirit and deepening our relationship with feminity (I am a staunch believer that God is a Woman and she’s the black and brown colour of this earth).
I’m going to spend next week drawing more ideas that combine what I’ve learnt tattooing on myself with what I think I’d like to explore further (values aligned).
Think: healing tattoos, abstract concepts based around embodiment. Also think: land spirits. Animals. Colour. I might vary between light and dark tones. I’m not sure.
I have to start drawing and I am TIRED but I’ll have energy come Monday and then Tuesday we enter into the year of the HORSE 🐎
Speak soon - I have another piece planned soon
Bethan x